My life right now

So... everything as of now is very interesting and chill. I mean having a semester off from classes feels great, but I've been having a feeling of emptiness. While it is nice weeding people out of my life,taking control of everything overall, and having more confidence, I still feel a sense of emptiness, bitterness, and a little bit of sadness in a way. I mean overall I am a happy person, I've met some cool people within this pass year, and learned a lot more about myself as a person.

Some things I still need to work on is to have a sense of organization.. I want to do all these things, but I never make the time to sit down and make the phone calls, emails, and whatever that is necessary to carry out some of my goals. I mean I feel like I've accomplished some things, since I am going to Geneva (United Nations Headquarters), and have been involved with a theater organization.. But I know there is still more to accomplish.

I've gotten a lot closer to some people, while others have been a little distant, but hey that's life. But the other day I was speaking with big bro Sean, and we talked about my choices with friends and relationships/dates...
I've been saying that I've been evolving, but I realized that I can't be at this higher frequency in life if I am getting rid of not so great people, when i bring in their replacements. One thing I had to disagree with is this whole thing of liking the bad ones... I can understand why people say that because of my last relationship, and the person who is trying to talk to me now seems like someone who isn't the best before me. At first, yes I wanted to consider it based off of looks and stuff, but I know deep down I didn't care what was wrong. But, in reality I could tell exactly what would go down with this one. However, a part of me feels like i can change people for the better, so that was probably my drive not to totally care about what some of the people might have said. I was told by Big Bro, and I am not angry or trying to be shady, that misery loves company and a few other things. I know what he was saying and I have to admit while there are points to it,I disagree. I agreed with the loneliness part though, which isn't a great reason to pursue someone. I felt like rather than misery, it really is me thinking that it would be different, when it would not. I mean I just wanted to take the chance, i don't think I'd let myself feel like that, but I looked at it as more of a challenge.. But even though i find him to be wrong, it does look like what he said...

However, I decided not to bother with it, and I decided to just take breath and relax. I've come to the realization that I am my own worst enemy, and I am thankful that I am fighting that, and continuing to evolve to this beautiful person. I love and will always that all my true friends (especially Sean, Ryan, Juan and Sara) The four of you have always been there when times were rough at different points. I also miss Steph and Katherine!! I gotta see you two soon!!

But all in, I will focus on what is really important in my life.. The fact that i have to put myself on the map with the careers that I want in the future, and to strive for something that is great. I am truly a person who want to fight for a cause, make a difference, be happy and part, be drama free, to be a spiritual person, and a creative one. So i am happy that I am getting the point where the pettiness, sadness, and second guessing is going away.

That's all for now, but I there is soo much more. lol!!

Thanks for reading!

-Jrizza